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The worst baby names of 2019

FROM the unspellable to the unspeakable, here are the worst names for boys and girls that parents tried to put on birth certificates in 2019 according to Parents.com.

KINGMESSIAH. It's one thing naming your kid after a superhero or a celebrity... but naming them after not just the King or The Messiah but both? Yeah. No pressure kid, don't stuff up now. 

DANGER. Unless this is a tongue in cheek way of trying to warn people against having children (in which case: Bravo, Mum and Dad) then this is just a dumb, dumb name.

MANSON. Just because you liked Once Upon A Time In Hollywood does not mean you get to name your kid after a serial killer. Just no.

YUGO. If Donald Trump tried to say 'Hugo', this is how it would sound. Which is why it should never be said. Ever. 

CLETUS. A little bit hillbilly, a little bit wannabe hipster, it basically sounds like a cross between fetus and clitoris. So that's definitely going to be fun for a little boy to deal with at school. 

XXAYVIER. Here's an idea: take a name that is perfectly nice but already kinda hard to spell and butcher it just enough to make him lie and tell everyone his name is actually Tom his whole childhood. 

PINCHES. This is not a name. This is just not a name. Despite the fact that seven US parents apparently gave it to their kids this year, this is not a name. 

STYLEZ. The perfect name if you want to set your kid up to mocked for his fashion sense (or lack thereof) his entire life.

CUB. Is this like the new 'Ted' or 'Teddy'? I guess if so it's kind of cute and I can get on board. But still... I think of a cub scout. Or a bear cub. I dunno. Either way, you're not going to see it before the letters 'C.E.O' later in life. 

CYNCERE. There are two crimes here: a. calling your kid a name which is also an adjective and b. spelling it wrong. 

VEGAS. Place names for babies in general rub me the wrong way but naming your precious daughter after a city known for neon lights, gambling, fake Eiffel towers and Elvis impersonators is next-level tacky. 

MATTEL. Presumably there were some Barbie fans at play here? Otherwise, we got no idea how this wound up on anyone's name list. 

STARLETT. If you don't want your daughter to enter showbiz, this is probably the perfect name to choose. Ain't no kid going to want to draw attention to themselves with a name like this. 

SHY. Is this worse or better than Cyncere? Either way, enough with the adjectives, let your kids decide their own personality traits. 

ANY. No. That's not a typo. Someone actually named their kid 'Any'. We presume her sisters are called 'All' and 'Other'. And they will soon join together to appoint a new legal guardian so they never have to deal with their crazy parents ever again. 

BLAYKELEE. Not sure whether to call your daughter Blake, Ellie or Lee? Why not combine them all into one giant hot mess. Or don't. Just don't. 

KHALEESI. Game of Thrones is over, people. Keep the tribute names to your pets, not your daughters. 

CHARDONNAY. This good old bogan name isn't going anywhere fast but it should. It should go faster. You can be a mum who likes wine, you can even be a mum who drinks wine a lot, but don't be a mum who names your kids after your favourite tipple. Or at the very least, call her something classy. Like Riesling.

This originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished with permisson.
 

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